


Worldbuilding 4: Six Degrees of Separation

by JoAsakura



Series: X-Force: Mutant Crimes Investigation Unit [4]
Category: MCIU
Genre: Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-22
Updated: 2010-10-22
Packaged: 2017-10-12 19:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoAsakura/pseuds/JoAsakura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy is not nearly separated enough from Deadpool, according to his calculations.</p><p>Another worldbuilding for X-Force: MCIU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worldbuilding 4: Six Degrees of Separation

Scene: The inside of Jimmy Proudstar's head.

Jimmy likes to say that "every member of X-Force has slept with every other member at one time or another." This is completely untrue. But if you replace Kevin Bacon with "making out", six degrees of separation do sort of apply.

As an example, in Jimmy's mind: He has gotten to second base with Terry Cassidy, not for lack of trying to get further. Terry has been in an on-again, off-again simulacrum of dating with one Wade Wilson. (as an aside, Jimmy's balls want to crawl up inside of his body every time he thinks that he has, by extension of his own tortured logic, groped Deadpool). Wade, on the other hand, has quite possibly Done Things with Cable. No one has the guts to ask Nate about that, but they all are fairly well versed in the frequently athletic sex that he has with Domino. This last part is only because of an incident in the vehicle garage.

It is also rumoured that Domino may have maybe possibly slept with Shatterstar during their tenure as mercenaries together. This occurred in that rather grey area in 'Star's career that falls after the barrel-bottom scraping of Madripoor and his current life in New York. He may also have maybe possibly been involved in the assassination the military dictator of a former soviet bloc nation during that time who happened to be a target of Deadpool's as well, which may explain why Wade hates him so much.

The times Jimmy as quizzed 'Star on this has only resulted in a disgusted eye roll and something unintelligible in Shatterstar's native language that sounds like Russian being played backwards over a cheese grater. He thinks it's probably not very complimentary, though. By six degrees of separation, when Jimmy thinks about it, then, this means that he has potentially had sex with both Rictor and Adam Nerimani. Less appalling in his mind than Deadpool, but still not ending up where he wants to go.

So he backs it back up to Terry. Terry has also dated Jamie Madrox, one of whom has also most likely slept wth Monet St. Croix.

So, to Jimmy, he has, *in theory*, slept with Monet in three steps. This is good, because he desperately wants to do so in one.

They would make a great couple, he thinks. They look good together and they have similar powersets. The only glitch is that, well...

Monet seems to be interested in someone else, and this perplexes Jimmy a great deal.

 

Scene: MCIU communications hub

Doug occasionally refers to himself as a "whey-faced internet shut-in". He jokes about it because it's kind of true. Because of the nature of his powers, dealing with people online is amazingly restful. There's no body language to read, there's no story being told by their clothing and their eating habits, there's no white-noise background chatter of the millions of other people milling around New York City carrying their stories in front of them like old-fashioned hobos with sandwich boards.

When he was younger, before his powers blossomed into omnisemiotic translation, the fact that he could read any book and instantly understand it made Doug the ultimate bookworm. The fact that he was small and somewhat fragile, especially when compared to people like Sam or Bobby or, frankly, Tabitha, didn't help dissuade anyone of that notion either.

As an adult, the bookworm is proficient enough in martial arts to successfully spar with Shatterstar and has survived more than one or two serious brushes with death. He's an amazing coordinator for his team. He is smart and witty and, quite frankly, grew up more attractive than any of his former classmates could have expected.

He is also hopelessly, helplessly, socially inept.

He knows what he *should* say or do in almost any situation, but the thought of dating and all it's attendant behaviours, leaves him somewhat panic stricken.

The truth is, that Doug Ramsey has never even kissed another person before. True, there had been that one peck on the cheek from Rahne Sinclair when he was 13, but he's pretty certain that doesn't count. And he's also pretty certain that time-sharing his life-force with Warlock doesn't count either. His alien "Self/Soul/Friend/Mate" relationship- one that is simultaneously purely platonic and unexpectedly kinky- doesn't exactly make for good training in getting together with fellow humans.

So then, to make matters worse, there's the not-so little matter of his technarch wetworks. Doug is, by his own last count, roughly 20% alien techno-organics. The technarch are distantly related to the phalanx, whose TO nanoviruses are responsible for Cable's infection. To him, Doug's own TO are uniformly begign- mildly enhanced cognition, a lowlevel cyberpathy, modest healing factor- but there's a daily ritual Doug goes through to make sure none of it has decided to mutate further and decide to use his shed skin cells or lost hairs to colonise the office and his teammates.

Consequently, he worries about intimate contact. He worries alot. And he's been worrying more since he realised something.

Monet St. Croix- insanely beautiful, stupendously powered Monet- is interested in him. And this perplexes Doug a great deal.

 

Scene: The incredibly elegant upper east side apartment of Monet St. Croix.

Monet certainly doesn't need to work for MCIU for a living, not between her trust fund in the high seven digits and her own occasional and lucrative forays into modeling (not to mention the handsome finder's fee her agent gave her for scouting Benjamin Russell). She does it because she loves being a part of a team. She loves beating the snot out of bad guys and supervillans.

Monet loves to make a difference. It makes her feel connected.

Being connected is something she has trouble with on her own. At the hands of her monstrously evil brother, Monet had gone from her comfortable, insulated life to the tortured existence as the creature known as Penance - trapped mute and helpless inside a diamond-hard, razor-sharp crystalline skin. Some days, even though she's long been freed of that, she still feels that way.

She never feels that way with Cypher, though. She knows it's a function of his power that he gets it when she makes a complicated and esoteric joke in French. Or how he alone always seems to know what she really means, even when the words come out sharp and sarcastic. But it's more than just comprehension. He is genuinely and truly the sweetest person she has ever known. He reminds her, somewhat, of a kitten. A kitten that is a little shy of people touching him, but who has the softest pale hair and the prettiest blue eyes.

A kitten that is also startlingly buff for someone who spends most of his time in communications and has a really nice behind, she adds to herself.

She had a conversation with Rictor not long ago that, while not about Doug in the least, made her think of him. Julio had noted how careful Shatterstar was when they had sex. 'Star's strength is well within the realm of the superhuman and Rictor could tell how worried 'Star was about, say, inadvertently crushing his pelvis or something.

And Monet is literally twice as strong as Shatterstar is. This wouldn't be a problem if she were going out with Warpath (who Monet thinks is a fool). And while she thinks it's funny that she's ringing Rictor, of all people up, asking him obliquely for advice on how to ask Doug out, she worries that the kitten metaphor might be too apt.

She's never worried about hurting someone like this before, and this perplexes Monet a great deal.


End file.
